Sharon (F Kaffka, Fiona)

If you would like Sharon’s stories, please email us at [email protected]

The Kaffkaesque Disclaimer and Caveat: Please read before any of FKaffka’s stories. Once should do it, but if you’re feeling constructively critical, feel free to read it again.

Let’s take it from the top. You all know, right, these characters aren’t mine? Okay, well, some of them are mine, but none of the ones you’ve already seen on tv are mine, unless Pet Fly and I enjoyed a rare simultaneous creative synchronicity type event, which I defy them to prove. And, yeah, I’m a lawyer and I even teach law, and I even teach entertainment law, and so, in a more nearly perfect world, I could cite you precedent on ownership of fictional characters, but hey, you didn’t sign on for legalese, right?

Mostly why I’m begging you to read this little craven plea for mercy is my preternaturally fragile ego. You should be able to read one of my stories, making copious notes on each and every little error, all in preparation for the moment when, my story fully read and digested, you start typing your critique. Wouldn’t that be nice, a free and frank exchange of comments? Okay, except I’m, like, totally neurotic, prone to egregious acts of self-destruction, and, really, notwithstanding how everyone feels about lawyers, is it genuinely worth it to drive me to suicide just ’cause you disagree with my syntax, or I contradict something in an ep I only watched two or three times, or I’m practicing tv medicine (you know, where someone gets shot in the chest in the third act and shows up in the epilogue wearing a chic little sling) instead of the real stuff, or I placed Cascade to the southeast of Seattle instead of where it "really" is, like, south-by-southwest). Okay, this is just supposed to be fun stuff by which I rid myself of surplus demons in between grading law students’ papers and killing bad guys in my detective novels. I really don’t mean any harm; this all turned out to be way more fun than I expected, and I’m just hoping you enjoy this. If you don’t, of course you’re welcome to go around telling everyone you know but puhleeze keep it a secret from me. I like to live in my deluded little universe in which ignorance is bliss. So let’s all detach with love, and I implore you to be careful if and when you e-mail me. If you like it, feel free to gush — it sustains me when nothing else can. If you don’t like it, either lie (I am majorly gullible) or go forth and be fruitful but try to keep your disapproval from me. If you say something nice, odds are I’ll keep writing, but if you type at me cross-eyed, I’ll haunt you when I die. ‘Kay? Thanks, I love ya, and buh bye.

Oh, and a special thanks to all the terrific ff writers who share their incredible work and thereby inspire me, all the ts fans who’ve helped me become almost computer literate, and the people who’ve dared to walk on eggshells and offer commentary couched liberally in praise. Their numbers aren’t exactly what you’d call legion, but I really do adore each and every one of them (and you guys know who you are), and not in a phony, eurotrashy air-kiss kind of way, but in an eternally indebted, autographed- copy-of-the-book kind of way. Thanks, guys.

 

  • Happy Family
    • Fight or Flight
    • Dylan’s Story
    • Pressure
    • Life and Death
    • Results
    • Time Warp
    • AUTO Da Fe
    • Punishment
    • Uncertainty
    • Disnfo
    • The Trinity
    • Depraved Indifference
    • Cult Fiction
    • Coda
  • Tabula Rasa
    • Testimony
    • Clean Slate
    • Speculation
    • The Mobius Strip
  • Permutations
    • Senseless
    • Substitution
    • Interbeing Fusion
  • Fracture
    • In Absentia
    • Apart and Separate
    • Isolation
    • Insular
    • Reunion
    • Karma
    • Loyalty
  • Absolute Zero
    • Accessories
    • Conspirators
    • Strangers
  • Acting
    • Rehearsal
    • Performance
  • Terrorism
    • Priorities
    • Hierarchy
    • Order
    • Domino
  • Ellipses
  • Spatial Properties
    • Distances
    • Stockholm
    • Triangulation
    • Bridging
  • Betrayal
    • Losing My Religion
    • In God We Trust
    • If God Is My Witness
  • Felonies
    • Theft
    • Assault
    • Kidnap
    • Murder
  • Abuse of Power
  • All In Our Places
    • Replaced
    • Displaced
    • With Bright Shining Faces
  • Alt-Control-Delete
    • Sins of the Father
    • Sins of Omission
    • Original Sin
  • Sleep Disorders
    • Nightmare
    • Insomnia
    • Neon Dreams
  • Prisoner-Fugitive
    • Prisoner
    • Fugitive
  • Next of Kin
  • Retreat-Surrender
    • Retreat
    • Surrender
  • Closure-Aperture
    • Closure
    • Aperture
  • Cabin-Descent-Tina
    • Cabin
    • Descent
    • Tina
  • The Life After -Limbo
    • The Life After
    • Limbo
  • The Trap
  • Guide Too
  • Random Acts of Kindness
    • Three Times Over
    • Four Noble Truths
    • Graduation Day
    • Detritus
    • The End of it All
  • Blood
  • Bone
  • Air
  • The Move
  • Impermanence
  • Insensate
  • Ghosts
  • The Quietude
  • Sleeping Long
  • Waking Up
  • Sentinel Redux
  • Enough
  • Chain Reaction
  • Resurrection
  • Never
  • Never — Epilogue
  • That Day at the Park
  • Guilty
  • So Far Down
  • Timing
  • Catching Up
  • The Answer
  • The Fall
  • Quisling
  • Triggers
  • In My Life
  • What If
  • Picking Up The Pieces
  • Permanence
  • Postscript
  • Watching The Wolf
  • It’s My Birthday, Too, Yeah
  • Dead Liberty
  • Something In Between
  • Living Rough
  • Eighteen Months